WARNING: SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIAL NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN
You might think that as an exorcist I mostly deal with behavior associated with the New Age, addictions, demonic attacks, and spiritual rebellion. These kinds of topics represent the majority of my ministry sessions. But I also spend time working with couples, praying to save their marriages in crisis. That’s why Laura and I wrote the book “Set Your Family Free – Breaking Satan’s Assignments Against your Household.” Many times, we minister as a married couple to pray with other couples in crisis. By God’s grace we’ve been able to rescue them from the brink of divorce. Here are important things that we have learned.
As you might expect, demons play a major role in destroying marriages. Especially the spirit of Jezebel! Please get my book on the Jezebel demon and understand how this evil spirit interferes in marriages. Most marriages in peril have neglectful behavior, generational curses, or one of the partners experiences demonic possession. Usually, the effect of evil spirits is aided by systemic behavioral problems in the relationship. Counseling experience has taught me that a significant number of marriages fail because proper systems of respect and communication aren’t in place. We teach couples how to reconnect by offering practical advice to correct faulty relationship systems. Such difficulties are usually the result of dysfunctional families of origin with one or both partners. Many of you need to meet with me and Laura for help with you and your current or future spouse. Consider scheduling a marriage encounter today.
What I’m about to say may come as a surprise to some. But it is based on data I have acquired over decades of ministry. I’ve discovered that more than half of Christian marriages facing difficulties are struggling with sexual issues! These matters in question often are the result of one or more of these three false assumptions:
1) The wife is responsible for keeping the sexual behavior godly and relationally functional.
2) The wife must never refuse her husband’s advances or his choice of sexual activities lest he then turns to pornography or is attracted to other women.
3) A wife’s sexual pleasure is not as important as that of her husband since men are more visual and physical about sex.
Let me state clearly that all three of these assumptions are damaging to a marriage. Ephesians 5:25 says that husbands are to love their wives “as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” The ESV says “gave Himself up for her.” The Living Bible says, “as Christ showed the church when He died for her.” To be blunt, the husband ought to be willing to die for his wife, in or out of the bedroom. In reference to my three points above, let me restate them as truths which may correct marriage problems.
- The husband is responsible for keeping sex pure and relationally connected. He should spend adequate time apart from sex seeking to bond with his wife and serve her needs. He should romance her, make her feel important instead of making sex a performance for his personal pleasure. Remember the adage, “Sex begins in the kitchen.” This means that simple tasks like doing the dishes and taking out the trash are part of the love language of a woman.
- A wife has the right to say no to sex. Sometimes a woman may not wish to engage in conjugation for any number of reasons, so long as she is not “defrauding” the relationship (1 Cor. 7:5). Pregnancy, health issues, and emotional conditions may make sex uncomfortable for a time. This is no excuse for the husband to turn to pornography. Counseling may be needed, but erotic visual stimulation on the internet isn’t going to help. In fact, it can form a virtual soul-tie leading to demonization. We help many couples overcome the addition to porn.
- The sexual pleasure of a wife deserves equal attention. Satisfaction and emotional connection are just as important to a woman as it is for a man. As stated earlier, the husband’s responsibility is to give up himself for his wife. In fact, her pleasure should be more important than his. Proverbs 5:19 – READ IT – is about mutual satisfaction, not masculine supremacy.
This blog isn’t the final word on sex in marriage. It’s a far too complex an issue to be reduced to a short commentary. But I pray that what I’ve shared shatters these faulty presumptions. Failure to be sensitive to the truth about sex can lead to pornography, affairs, and emotional damage to the children who may sense the marital disconnect. The spirit of Jezebel must not become a third party to any marriage, seeking to destroy a union solemnized in the eyes of God and man.
