Evolutionary Idiocy

A bleeding-heart liberal attorney in New York State has filed a lawsuit on behalf of a chimpanzee. Steven Wise, an attorney and president of the Non-Human Rights Project, claims that a 26-year-old chimp is being imprisoned against his will. The lawsuit accuses the chimpanzee’s keepers, Patrick and Diane Lavery, of violating New York law. The suit alleges that the laws of New York do not “limit legal person-hood to Homo sapiens.”  The attorney’s argument is that state law does not allow any “person” to be unlawfully detained. This is how far the belief in evolution has taken us. A university trained lawyer, admitted to the bar, arguing that monkeys are entitled to equal protection under the law.

What is this chimpanzee’s life like?  He currently spends his fall days in a room heated to 70 degrees with walls decorated to look like a jungle. The chimp even has color, cable TV. Hundreds of millions of people in third world countries don’t have it that good. Never mind, the lawsuit is going forward until this attorney is convinced the chimp can go free, though where the chimp goes after that no one knows. Perhaps Mr. Wise would like the chimp to move in with him and sleep in his bed. Just one day of experiencing the chimp’s lack of toilet trained habits might make Mr. Wise think otherwise about his evolutionary equal. This chimpanzee might be a chimp but this lawyer is a chump.